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Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

January 25, 2012

Instead of the almost obligatory ‘New Year’ post, I’ve decided to review a film. Well, I call it a film. I suppose it’s actually a Scientology fundraiser. (Note to Church of Scientology: please don’t rape me, I promise I’m not a depraved Xenu worshipper bent on increasing planetary thetan levels)

Well, where to start? I had heard good things about this film before going to see it. Of course, I heard good things about Twilight, but I didn’t bother to go see that violent horse diarrhoea, mainly because the people who had good things to say about Twilight were fucking morons. I should point out, I don’t want to cause offence to any Twilight fans. No, I want to cause grievous bodily harm. You people are worse than AIDS. I mean, there was a NATO offensive against Colonel Gadaffi, and yet Twilight fans are free to walk the streets?

But I digress. Ghost Protocol, or GP (because I’m that damn lazy), is a film about Tom Cruise, some blah blah blah characters, Simon Pegg, an old man (not Tom Cruise, another old man), Russians, and a really tall building. Now if that summary didn’t give you any idea about that film, then neither will actually watching it.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually quite enjoyed it. There’s plenty of action, Tom Cruise and tall building (yes, singular, unfortunately). There’s also a reasonable amount of Simon Pegg, providing the comic relief, naturally. It’s certainly entertaining. The dialogue itself is also not as terrible as I was worried, and there’s a certain amount of self parody that was missing from MI2/3.

My main gripe is really with the plot. The reason I really enjoyed the first Mission Impossible film was that the plot was interesting, and full of more twists and turns than an epileptic snake. Unfortunately, GP just doesn’t quite match that. It wasn’t as plotless as, say, Blade Trinity, but it also didn’t live up to MI1.

But taking all of the film’s positive points into account, it’s definitely a decent evenings entertainment. I just wouldn’t recommend paying the CoS too much money for it.

Yes, I’m aware that this post is rather short. So’s Tom Cruise.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 28, 2012 2:10 pm

    So, nothing to jump about on a couch for?

    p.s. Welcome back..ish? You need to post more often, if only for my own entertainment.

  2. February 1, 2012 12:19 am

    Alas, nay, it’s nothing worth terrifying Oprah for. And I’m back..ish! A lack of internet and work have conspired to keep me from venting my rage online, but no more!

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